Healing

I am really tired.

I am really solemn.

I don't know where to go from here,

i don't know what to do from now.

Except to follow God, praise God, live for God, love God, lean on God, know God.

I'm really pretty much lost asides from the above sentence.

I just know that i'm going to put 100% trust in a few friends, and from me 100 is almost impossible.

I just pray i won't get hurt.

But when all else fails, God doesn't.

I'm going to sleep on my bench, prop my legs up on my window, enjoy the breeze and listen to quiet, quiet music.

It's time for my break.

Healing, heart being stable, setting my eyes solely on God.

I've made my decision and i really want to give God all my time.

I'm only young once. Only once.

Maybe everything would be easier now.

Just, maybe.

Nicole is awesome! :D

aiyerrrrr i dont like the name nicole. i like tanwei

Ask me anything

lockhart

False.

It's false.

I know i know.

#186

Good morning mellow blue skies.

Thank You God for the cool subtle breeze.

Gentle.

Thank You God for the beautiful clouds.

Amazing.

Thank You God for any single ounce of ability I have to play the guitar.

Teehee.

Thank You God for everything.

I know i fail to put You first in everything.

I know i fail to put You at the center of everything i do.

I know that i want to.

I know that i'm going to try to.

So for every mini thing I want to learn to thank You.

Lord i also pray that You help me.

Let everything not be for motive, for praise, for acknowledgement,

but let everything be humble, pure, true, for You only.

Amen.

Heart

I know mine's not the first heart broken.

I know i'm not the first to cry.

There's this sudden plethora of emotions overwhelming me.

Inferiority, insecurity, vulnerability, fear, disappointment.

Basically everything scary and negative, except anger.

I know i'm not supposed to be feeling this way.

But i'm just suddenly bombarded with feelings that i want to express.

I want to cry, i want to scream, i want to rant nonsensically and nonstop,

with someone holding my hand or cuddling me, understanding every gibberish that escapes my mouth.

I want to bite someone's arm till it leaves a mini mark that goes away in 10 minutes, and instead of pushing me aside, that someone offers me the other arm.

I want to lie on the field and simply stare at the night sky, without anyone looking at me or giving me weird faces.

I want something inexplicable, warm, soothing, calming, safe.

I'm not lovesick, i'm not heartbroken, i'm not rejected.

I just don't feel good enough.

I don't feel worthy.

For anyone.

Only person that i know would except me no matter what is God,

see me as beautiful is God,

forgive every mistake i make is God,

see every flaw as a quality is God.

But daily i'm beaten down by myself, the world, expectations.

I need someone to call my name repeatedly, soothing me.

That someone would be me.

God to You the highest honour

My God, is my shelter and refuge.

My God, makes me cry like a little girl though.. I am one.

My God, simply by His presence makes me fall to my knees in worship.

My God, leaves me speechless time after time.

My God, fills me up.

None of me, all of God.

WHO IS NTWW! :D

nicole tan wei wen

Ask me anything

Within reach,

I know i'm not good enough but would you be okay with whatever I had?

Would you still love me knowing that all i could offer is my love?

Would you still care for me, die for me, knowing that i got nothing more to give in return.

-

Life sux.

Guitar sux.

Getting nowhere.

Need You now.

Need sleep now.

I'm going to be okay,

like always.

I'm going to be okay.

In the mood

Ask me anything

http://www.formspring.me/valerieleaf

Screw this Im done here.

Liars.
What's the purpose.
To trust only to be lied to.
To love only to be betrayed.
To give only to be taken advantage of.

Sick and tired.
Im going to withdraw.